EP031 – Bordello of Blood (1996)

Highlights from Episode 31:

  • One may accurately determine the amount of gratuitous female nudity a movie contains based upon Kathleen’s level of annoyance. For example, Kathleen said the word “stupid” no fewer than 8 times within the first two minutes.
  • Pete needs ten minutes to give the six minute synopsis, so either Pete can’t count or we need to rename the six minute synopsis.
  • We sample some wonderful (and much needed) beers from our generous friends at Wolf’s Ridge Brewing, including:
    • Snow Cone Extra Pale Ale
    • Daybreak Coffee Vanilla Cream Ale
  • This movie was to be the second part of a Tales from the Crypt movie trilogy, and was apparently bad enough to more or less end the franchise.
  • If you feel like there aren’t enough movies featuring a scene where a guy gets darts thrown at his dick, boy do we have good news for you!
  • We determined the Crypt Keeper was the king of punny dad jokes before dad jokes were a thing.
  • Did I mention Kathleen was annoyed with this movie?
  • Who knew that a Dennis Miller/Erika Eleniak/Angie Everhart vehicle wouldn’t do well?
  • Pete watched a documentary about the production of Bordello of Blood. Also, apparently there’s a documentary about Bordello of Blood.
  • We all share a surprisingly fond appreciation for Corey Feldman.
  • The cast likely set a new record for mentions of the word “boobs” and its variants.
  • As there are Buffy the Vampire Slayer fans among the cast, we inevitably discuss vampire lore. This movie’s adherence to said lore is… spotty.
  • Perhaps some of the best exploding vampire scenes since From Dusk Till Dawn.
  • We almost try to make an argument that the movie is empowering to women but can’t do it with a straight face.
  • Frequency of the word “penis” and it’s variants (wang, dong, etc) is directly proportional to the amount of alcohol consumed.
  • Six Pack Ratings:
    • Kathleen: 5
    • Troy: 3
    • Pete: 3
    • Dave: 3
  • Seriously guys, Kathleen was very annoyed with this movie.