EP031 – Bordello of Blood (1996)

Highlights from Episode 31:

  • One may accurately determine the amount of gratuitous female nudity a movie contains based upon Kathleen’s level of annoyance. For example, Kathleen said the word “stupid” no fewer than 8 times within the first two minutes.
  • Pete needs ten minutes to give the six minute synopsis, so either Pete can’t count or we need to rename the six minute synopsis.
  • We sample some wonderful (and much needed) beers from our generous friends at Wolf’s Ridge Brewing, including:
    • Snow Cone Extra Pale Ale
    • Daybreak Coffee Vanilla Cream Ale
  • This movie was to be the second part of a Tales from the Crypt movie trilogy, and was apparently bad enough to more or less end the franchise.
  • If you feel like there aren’t enough movies featuring a scene where a guy gets darts thrown at his dick, boy do we have good news for you!
  • We determined the Crypt Keeper was the king of punny dad jokes before dad jokes were a thing.
  • Did I mention Kathleen was annoyed with this movie?
  • Who knew that a Dennis Miller/Erika Eleniak/Angie Everhart vehicle wouldn’t do well?
  • Pete watched a documentary about the production of Bordello of Blood. Also, apparently there’s a documentary about Bordello of Blood.
  • We all share a surprisingly fond appreciation for Corey Feldman.
  • The cast likely set a new record for mentions of the word “boobs” and its variants.
  • As there are Buffy the Vampire Slayer fans among the cast, we inevitably discuss vampire lore. This movie’s adherence to said lore is… spotty.
  • Perhaps some of the best exploding vampire scenes since From Dusk Till Dawn.
  • We almost try to make an argument that the movie is empowering to women but can’t do it with a straight face.
  • Frequency of the word “penis” and it’s variants (wang, dong, etc) is directly proportional to the amount of alcohol consumed.
  • Six Pack Ratings:
    • Kathleen: 5
    • Troy: 3
    • Pete: 3
    • Dave: 3
  • Seriously guys, Kathleen was very annoyed with this movie.

EP030 – The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T (1953)

Highlights from Episode 30:

  • Whelp. It’s Troy’s Birthday month, so this is HIS fault. And now everyone else hates him.
  • Dr. Seuss should maybe stick with the books.
  • German words should always be shouted.
  • Beers this month were supplied to us by the Forbidden Root brewery out of Chicago, who will soon be opening a restaurant and brewery in Columbus. Not only did that totally rule, but now we’re expecting other breweries to step it up! (where are you at, CBC?! You gonna let these Chicagoans show you how it’s done??!)
  • It’s amazing how little we actually talk about the movie considering we ramble on for almost 2 hours.
  • We drink a beer called Snoochie Boochies and freaking love it.
  • We bring in an actual piano teacher to defend her profession against this movie who teaches us all about ninja musicals.
  • Troy is sick during the recording, so enjoy listening to him try and keep from hocking into the mic for 2 hours.
  • Six Pack Ratings:
    • Jodi: 6
    • Kathleen: 5
    • Pete: 5
    • Dave: 5
    • Troy: 5

EP029 – The Incredible Shrinking Woman (1981)

The Incredible Shrinking Woman movie Poster

Highlights from Episode 28:

  • Joel Schumacher’s feature film debut and not a single batsuit nipple in sight.
  • Spaghetti Arms: the psychological phenomenon of confusing two people that share the same first name (e.g., Patrick Stewart vs Patrick Swayze, Christopher Walken vs Christopher Lloyd, etc).
  • Kathleen needs ten minutes to give the six minute synopsis.
  • We sample some fun beers from Streetside Brewery out of Cincinnati:
    • Bert Got Dum: A raspberry lemon wedding cake milkshake IPA with the lemon drop hop. Also, “wedding cake milkshake lemon drop hop” sounds like a complicated 1950s dance craze.
    • F*** It We’ll do it Lime: a key lime pie gose. (Goose? Goes? Goze? Gooze?)
  • Shockingly nobody hated this movie!
  • We all agree Lily Tomlin is a national treasure.
  • This movie has a great many layers of symbolism and social commentary on unregulated chemical manufacturing, rampant consumerism, irresponsible marketing, gender roles in patriarchal society, and the concept of mental load. Also, we may have been drinking.
  • Dave learns not every clam chowder joke is funny.
  • Nobody likes when Pete (or anyone) says “creamy mouthfeel.”
  • Equally gross is a character’s suggestion of having “an open mind and an open mouth.”
  • We discuss whether sex works when one partner is 8 inches tall and the other is Charles Grodin. The phrase “hugging a telephone pole” is used, and no one is happy about it.
  • Replacing Troy’s regular coffee with Folger’s Flavor Crystals may end very poorly.
  • When it comes to what’s going on in her kitchen, Kathleen is a clueless 1950s husband.
  • Kathleen learns Bulgogi is a real thing.
  • The theme song for the fictional product “Galaxy Glue” is a hateful, hateful ear worm.
  • Six pack ratings:
    • Kathleen: 2
    • Troy: 1
    • Pete: 2
    • Dave: 2

EP028 – The Avengers (1998)

The Avengers (1998)

Highlights from Episode 28:

  • Once again, our listeners chose this horrible movie for us via online poll. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice…
  • The cast tries to avoid talking about the movie by discussing more pleasant topics, like what happens to your poop after eating beets.
  • Our awesome friends at GBBMN Australia managed to provide us with wonderful beer from Kaiju Brewing that definitely did not involve illegally transporting beer across state and international borders or smuggling things in rectums.
  • Troy attempts an Australian accent. Troy should not attempt an Australian accent.
  • We learn all critical reviews of The Avengers (1998) fall embarrassingly short of the actual viewing experience.
  • Can you pronounce the word “herbaceous?” Pete can’t!
  • Seriously, the movie sucked so bad we did everything we could to keep from talking about it.
  • Watching The Avengers (1998) is analogous to trying to assemble a jigsaw puzzle except
    • 25% of the pieces are missing
    • the picture on the box is different than the puzzle
    • someone is stabbing you.
  • Eddie Izzard is criminally underutilized in this film.
  • We may be drunk by the end.
  • Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, then send us your address to get a sticker!
  • Ratings:
    • Kathleen: 5
    • Troy: 6
    • Pete: 5
    • Dave: 5

Choose the next bad movie again!

The first Good Beer Bad Movie Night movie poll did so well we thought we’d subject ourselves to further punishment. Once again we invite you, our dear listeners, to choose the next cinematic outrage to foist upon our trembling cast.

The Choices

(shudder)

Attack of the 50 Foot Cheerleader (2012)



Plot: Aspiring college cheerleader, Cassie Stratford consumes an experimental drug that grants her beauty and enough athletic ability to make the cheer squad. The drug has an unforeseen side effect – Cassie starts to grow and grow and grow.

Athletes will go to such lengths to improve performance. Tsk tsk.

View on IMDB


Zapped! (1982)

Plot: A high school science nerd gains telekinetic powers after a laboratory accident and uses them for revenge upon bullies.

And commit various acts of sexual harassment, evidently.

View on IMDB


The Sword and the Sorcerer (1982)

Plot: A mercenary with a three-bladed sword rediscovers his royal heritage’s dangerous future when he is recruited to help a princess foil the designs of a brutal tyrant and a powerful sorcerer in conquering a land.

It’s three, three, three blades in one!

View on IMDB


The Avengers (1998)

Plot: Two British Agents team up to stop Sir August de Wynter from destroying the world with a weather-changing machine.

Please don’t choose this one. I like a joke as much as the next guy but seriously.

View on IMDB


Krull (1983)

Plot: A prince and a fellowship of companions set out to rescue his bride from a fortress of alien invaders who have arrived on their home planet.

Early screen appearances of Liam Neeson and Robbie Coltrane!

View on IMDB


Got it?

Now select the movie below. It’s kind of like choose your own adventure, except “your own adventure” is actually “our horrible suffering.”

EP027 – Theseus and the Minotaur (2014)

  • We celebrate Independence day by featuring an independent film maker, Joshua Kennedy.
  • Huge props to Hoof Hearted Brewing for going above and beyond to get use our frosty adult beverages.
  • This episode we sampled Hoof Hearted’s Musk of the Minotaur and Skittley Bittley Bop.
  • Pete previewed one of the home brews he’s bringing to G-Fest in July; The Daiweizen.
  • Troy and Dave can’t resist the David Lee Roth impersonations. For better or for worse. Mostly for worse.
  • Pete came up with a new dessert called Banana’s Alaska. Beer is fun.
  • After the six-pack rating, listen for details about the DVD giveaway . gbbmnpodcast@gmail.com
  • .
  • We got some listener feedback from down under! Check out our Australian sister cast’s latest episode on Soundcloud.

EP026 – Ghidora, the Three Headed Monster (1964)

  • The cast was fortunate to have Christopher Page sit in as a guest host. Check out his podcasts Time Shifters and Orphaned Entertainment.
  • Christopher brought along two beers from the Cincinnati brewery Fibonacci .
  • Kathleen does a fine job with the synopsis especially since it the first time she’s seen a Godzilla movie.

EP025 – Santo versus The Blob (1973)

Highlights from Episode 25

  • It’s May and that means we get to watch a Mexican Monster Movie, much to Kathleen’s chagrin.
  • In this episode we try Left Hand Brewery’s Good Juju
  • Pete also whipped out a beer he’s been cellering since 2013 to share with the cast. New Holland Brewery’s El Mole Ocho.
  • The words “Trunk Monkey” were used.
  • For the first time, a film was a unanimous 4 beer rating.

EP024 – War of the Gargantuas (1966)

Highlights from Episode 24

  • We had an amazing time recording at Endeavor Brewing in Grandview, Ohio. The sound suffered due to the activity in the busy brewery but the conversation around the beers and the film were fantastic.
  • General Manager Sean Schultz joined the cast and walked us through the history of the brewery and two delicious beers; Altura Latin Lager and Garten Gose.
  • Troy and Pete serenaded the cast with a musical surprise. Here’s the cover Devo recorded. Who did it better?
  • This may be our highest rated film:
    • Kathleen 2
    • Dave 2
    • Troy 1
    • Pete 1