GBBMN EP040 – Ghost Rider (2007)

Highlights from episode 40.

  • This month the “fans” got to select a film for our viewing displeasure. Don’t feel too bad though, all of the selections were turds. This one probably let us down the most.
  • Don’t miss the outtakes for something special.
  • Dave does a great Karen Carpenter.
  • Who knew the a Jelly Bean Martini could make Kathleen so freaking mad?
  • Beers enjoyed:
  • White Magick of the Sun from Voodoo Brewery
  • Fog Cutter Double IPA from Lost Coast Brewery

EP039 – Howl From Beyond The Fog (2020)

It’s the most shocking episode of GBBMN ever, as the crew review not one. Not TWO! BUT THREE short films for our Independence Month show…which all culminates in a surprising confession from Kathleen.

Highlights from Episode 39

  • The first short we discuss, a cartoon made by friend of the show Mark Bailey, is called It Came From The East River It is a multiple award winner. Not a phrase you will usually associate with films reviewed by GBBMN.
  • The next short, CandyLand, is also by a friend of the show, this time a brother of the son of a cousin of Pete (or something like that) made a student film that actually turned out pretty damned good.
  • The THIRD short, Howl From Beyond The Fog, started as a Kickstarter campaign.
  • Good Beer Bad Movie Night actually appears in the credits of HFBTF! (Please don’t hold that against them)
  • Dave recalls fond memories of adults giving him alcohol at the ripe old age of three. It explains a lot.
  • Pete needs to learn new descriptors, because we will ALWAYS laugh at “pillowy mouth-feel

Beers of the episode

So…How Much Do You Hate Us Really?

You know, as much as we bitch about these polls, you would think that we’d stop making them. But NOPE! Here we are again. Polling you…our sadistic audience…to choose our next form of torture. And this time? We’re being tortured by SUPERHEROES!

EP038 – Country Strong (2010)

Country Strong Movie Poster

The cast reviews the winner of last month’s poll: Country Strong, starring Gwynneth Paltrow, Tim McGraw, eighton Meester, and Garrett Hedlund. On a related note, we may not be doing any more polls, as it’s clear our listeners are cruel, cruel monsters.

Highlights from Episode 37

  • Did you know Kathleen hates Gwynneth Paltrow?
  • Everyone in the main cast sings except Tim McGraw, who is the only professional singer. In a movie about country music.
  • The movie is darker and much more melodramatic than the cast is accustomed to. Well, darker anyway.
  • One of the main characters is named Beau Hutton. Get it? Bow Hunting? Sigh.
  • Is it possible to discuss Gwynneth Paltrow without mentioning candles, steaming, or stones in relation to lady parts?
  • Invoking George Carlin, Dave brings up whether dressing in a cowboy hat and boots is a costume akin to wearing a viking outfit.

Beers of the episode

Six Pack Rating

  • Pete: 6
  • Troy: 3
  • Dave: 4
  • Kathleen: 4

EP037 – Mil Mascaras vs. the Aztec Mummy (2007)

Highlights from Episode 37

  • For our May episode we watch another lucha libre movie, this time featuring the celebrated Mil Mascaras.
  • Pete attempts to introduce the episode in Spanish. On a possibly related note, apologies to any Spanish speaking listeners.
  • It’s nice to watch a movie that’s unironically cheesy. Terrible, but nice.
  • Dave’s cat celebrated the cast’s first remote recording by jumping from a shelf directly onto his balls.
  • The cast discusses the wildly popular (in Mexico) lucha libre culture and its relationship to superheroes.
  • Pete ambushes Kathleen with a “Comic book hero or Luchador” quiz. She does quite well, despite her annoyance.

Beers of the episode

Six Pack Rating

  • Pete: 2
  • Kathleen: 3
  • Troy: 2
  • Dave: 2

Help pick Good Beer Bad Movie Night’s next movie

We again leave choosing the next movie in your ruthless, barbaric hands. Read the descriptions and make your selection at the bottom.

But choose wisely, for while the true Grail will bring you life, the false Grail will take it from you. Or us.

The Choices

Ghost Rider (2007)

When motorcycle rider Johnny Blaze sells his soul to the Devil to save his father’s life, he is transformed into the Ghost Rider, the Devil’s own bounty hunter, and is sent to hunt down sinners.

Nicholas Cage’s head is on fire. Other stuff happens too.

Country Strong (2010)

A rising country-music songwriter works with a fallen star to work their way to fame, causing romantic complications along the way.

A country music story in which Gwyneth Paltrow sings, yet Tim McGraw does not.

Country Strong (2010)

When thugs prey upon innocent factory workers, a small-time scammer trains for revenge by studying the moves of Shaolin temple monks.

Classic Shaolin Monk-ey business. Get it? MONK? Whatever—they can’t all be home runs.

The Core (2003)

The only way to save Earth from catastrophe is to drill down to the core and set it spinning again.

Hilary Swank and Aaron Eckhart drilling. No, not that kind of drilling. No, not that kind either.

EP036 – Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters (2013)

Highlights from Episode 36:

  • This movie was so much dumb fun. Mostly dumb.
  • We are joined by Donna who, being a Jeremy Renner fan, actually saw this movie in the theater.
  • We all appreciate the high production quality of the movie, use of awesome production design, practical effects, creature design, and on-location shoots, which is why we were puzzled by the choice to make the witch’s gingerbread house look like a giant candy butthole.
  • Dave spends a little too much time talking about historical context for a movie that features head-stomping trolls and an automatic crossbow.
  • Evidently the moral of the original Grimm’s Hansel and Gretel story is “Don’t trust your parents because they’ll feed you to a cannibal in the woods.”
  • We somehow suspend disbelief enough to allow for a collapsible spring-loaded shotgun shooting bullets that split into smaller bullets, but not enough to allow for the use of insulin shots 80 years before it was used medically.
  • The movie’s ending implies the possibility of a sequel. With the ending of the current Avenger’s arc, Jeremy Renner’s availability might be open…? Do we want this?

Beers

  • The cast enjoyed a few tasty beverages. Pete’s earnest attempt to describe one beer goes sideways, as apparently he can’t say “billowing in your mouth, coating everything” without us giggling like idiots.

Six Pack Rating

  • Pete: 3
  • Kathleen: 3
  • Troy: 2
  • Donna: 0
  • Dave: 1

EP035 – Krull (1983)

Krull movie poster

A movie with Robbie Coltrane, Liam Neeson, and a golden, five-pointed, razor-tipped boomerang of awesomeness still managed to suck.

Highlights from Episode 35:

  • Dave not only monumentally flubs the synopsis, but manages to go 41 seconds over the allotted six minute time limit. Consequently he was forced to sing a rather undignified song, much to the delight of Pete and Troy.
  • Due to losing his voice during some kind of boating mishap, Pete is unable to speak above a hoarse whisper, much to the relief disappointment of the rest of the cast.
  • Dave attempts to kill the rest of the cast with high-octane beers acquired from our friends at Perfect Pour Craft Beer & Beverage:
  • So far the best description of Krull is “Where Star Wars and Lord of the Rings had a baby.”
  • Fond childhood memories do not a good movie make, as Dave discovered much to his disappointment.
  • We’re promised awesome magical flying razor boomerang fighting. The payoff is… disappointing.
  • Moral of the story: If you’re prone to getting into bad situations, a cyclops friend will help you until he’s slowly crushed by a stone door.
  • Six pack rating:
    • Troy: 2
    • Pete: 5
    • Dave: 1
    • Kathleen: 3

EP034 – The Guyver (1991)

The Guyver movie poster

Highlights from Episode 34:

  • This movie would have been a lot more fun if we were either six years old or kind of drunk. Well, we’re not six so drunk it is!
  • The cast enjoyed three beers from Mantra Artisan Ales, courtesy of our friend Rod Barnett from NaschyCast and the Bloody Pit:
    • Amour Rouge: a Flanders-style sour red ale at 6.2% ABV (stupid sexy Flanders…)
    • Nouveau: a Belgian-style dubbel ale at 7.5% ABV
    • Japa: a Milk chai stout at 5.1% ABV. The bottle says “drink this beer fresh,” which we did not. (Sorry, Rod.)
  • An American live-action movie adaptation of the Japanese anime/comic title The Guyver: Biobooster Armor, we suspect the filmmakers understood neither original material nor American audiences. Or they didn’t care, and just wanted to use this crappy film as a vehicle to showcase their (admittedly impressive) creature effects.
  • Despite appearing prominently on the movie poster, Mark Hamill does not play The Guyver. If you can’t trust a movie poster of alive-action adaptation of an animated feature based on a comic book, what can you trust?
  • Kathleen recalls the good old college days when she used to hang out with a bunch of ridiculous boys. Evidently times have not changed.
  • All situations are improved by shouting “GUYVER! BIO BOOSTER ARMOR!” randomly and without warning.
  • Dave went through a phase in college when he would shout everything he was doing as though it were an anime-style special attack.
  • We geek out briefly at the appearance of horror movie stars Michael Berryman (The Hills Have Eyes), David Gale, and Jeffrey Combs (both from The Reanimator).
  • Jimmie Walker appears as one of the villains. Hey, Jimmie’s gotta eat too.
  • This movie begins somewhat ominously dark, then ends as full-on Looney Tunes.
  • Did we need monster boobs?
  • Six Pack Ratings:
    • Kathleen: 3
    • Troy: 3
    • Pete: 3
    • Dave: 3

Choose the movie for March yet again!

Letting our sadistic listeners choose our movie has become something of a March tradition here at Good Beer Bad Movie Night. This year’s options were carefully selected to ensure groan-worthy fun without sending Kathleen into an apoplectic rage.

The Choices

Johnny Mnemonic (1995)

Johnny Mnemonic movie poster

Plot: A data courier, literally carrying a data package inside his head, must deliver it before he dies from the burden or is killed by the Yakuza.

Ever see Henry Rollins fight Dolph Lundgren? ‘CAUSE YOU’RE GONNA!

View on IMDB

Krull (1983)

Krull movie poster

Plot: A prince and a fellowship of companions set out to rescue his bride from a fortress of alien invaders who have arrived on their home planet.

Before Liam Neeson made a career rescuing people—oh wait.

View on IMDB

Clash of the Titans (2010)

Clash of the Titans movie poster

Plot: Perseus demigod, son of Zeus, battles the minions of the underworld to stop them from conquering heaven and earth.

Remember when the world was clamoring for a remake of Clash of the Titans? Yeah, us either.

View on IMDB

Judge Dredd (1995)

Judge Dredd movie poster

Plot: In a dystopian future, Joseph Dredd, the most famous Judge (a police officer with instant field judiciary powers), is convicted for a crime he did not commit and must face his murderous counterpart.

Oh Diane Lane. Soooo hot…

View on IMDB

Got it?

Now select the movie below. Voting closes 2/7/2020.

DO IT! DO IT NAAAUUUGH!