You know, as much as we bitch about these polls, you would think that we’d stop making them. But NOPE! Here we are again. Polling you…our sadistic audience…to choose our next form of torture. And this time? We’re being tortured by SUPERHEROES!
Help pick Good Beer Bad Movie Night’s next movie
We again leave choosing the next movie in your ruthless, barbaric hands. Read the descriptions and make your selection at the bottom.
But choose wisely, for while the true Grail will bring you life, the false Grail will take it from you. Or us.
The Choices
Ghost Rider (2007)
When motorcycle rider Johnny Blaze sells his soul to the Devil to save his father’s life, he is transformed into the Ghost Rider, the Devil’s own bounty hunter, and is sent to hunt down sinners.
Nicholas Cage’s head is on fire. Other stuff happens too.
Country Strong (2010)
A rising country-music songwriter works with a fallen star to work their way to fame, causing romantic complications along the way.
A country music story in which Gwyneth Paltrow sings, yet Tim McGraw does not.
Country Strong (2010)
When thugs prey upon innocent factory workers, a small-time scammer trains for revenge by studying the moves of Shaolin temple monks.
Classic Shaolin Monk-ey business. Get it? MONK? Whatever—they can’t all be home runs.
The Core (2003)
The only way to save Earth from catastrophe is to drill down to the core and set it spinning again.
Hilary Swank and Aaron Eckhart drilling. No, not that kind of drilling. No, not that kind either.
Choose the movie for March yet again!
Letting our sadistic listeners choose our movie has become something of a March tradition here at Good Beer Bad Movie Night. This year’s options were carefully selected to ensure groan-worthy fun without sending Kathleen into an apoplectic rage.
The Choices
Johnny Mnemonic (1995)
Plot: A data courier, literally carrying a data package inside his head, must deliver it before he dies from the burden or is killed by the Yakuza.
Ever see Henry Rollins fight Dolph Lundgren? ‘CAUSE YOU’RE GONNA!
Krull (1983)
Plot: A prince and a fellowship of companions set out to rescue his bride from a fortress of alien invaders who have arrived on their home planet.
Before Liam Neeson made a career rescuing people—oh wait.
Clash of the Titans (2010)
Plot: Perseus demigod, son of Zeus, battles the minions of the underworld to stop them from conquering heaven and earth.
Remember when the world was clamoring for a remake of Clash of the Titans? Yeah, us either.
Judge Dredd (1995)
Plot: In a dystopian future, Joseph Dredd, the most famous Judge (a police officer with instant field judiciary powers), is convicted for a crime he did not commit and must face his murderous counterpart.
Oh Diane Lane. Soooo hot…
Got it?
Now select the movie below. Voting closes 2/7/2020.
DO IT! DO IT NAAAUUUGH!
Choose the next bad movie again!
The first Good Beer Bad Movie Night movie poll did so well we thought we’d subject ourselves to further punishment. Once again we invite you, our dear listeners, to choose the next cinematic outrage to foist upon our trembling cast.
The Choices
(shudder)
Attack of the 50 Foot Cheerleader (2012)
Plot: Aspiring college cheerleader, Cassie Stratford consumes an experimental drug that grants her beauty and enough athletic ability to make the cheer squad. The drug has an unforeseen side effect – Cassie starts to grow and grow and grow.
Athletes will go to such lengths to improve performance. Tsk tsk.
Zapped! (1982)
Plot: A high school science nerd gains telekinetic powers after a laboratory accident and uses them for revenge upon bullies.
And commit various acts of sexual harassment, evidently.
The Sword and the Sorcerer (1982)
Plot: A mercenary with a three-bladed sword rediscovers his royal heritage’s dangerous future when he is recruited to help a princess foil the designs of a brutal tyrant and a powerful sorcerer in conquering a land.
It’s three, three, three blades in one!
The Avengers (1998)
Plot: Two British Agents team up to stop Sir August de Wynter from destroying the world with a weather-changing machine.
Please don’t choose this one. I like a joke as much as the next guy but seriously.
Krull (1983)
Plot: A prince and a fellowship of companions set out to rescue his bride from a fortress of alien invaders who have arrived on their home planet.
Early screen appearances of Liam Neeson and Robbie Coltrane!
Got it?
Now select the movie below. It’s kind of like choose your own adventure, except “your own adventure” is actually “our horrible suffering.”
Choose the movie for March
Alright, so we’re doing a first for Good Beer Bad Movie Night– letting you choose which cinematic embarrassment we must endure for next month! Review the choices below then select the movie in the form below. Or don’t. I don’t care.
Saturn 3
Plot: Two lovers stationed at a remote base in the asteroid fields of Saturn are intruded upon by a retentive technocrat from Earth and his charge: a malevolent eight foot robot.
Hopefully we won’t need to watch the first two Saturns to understand this one. (Kidding– it’s not a sequel! Hahaha oh my sides… )
The Norseman
Plot: An eleventh century Viking Prince sails to America to find his father, who on a previous voyage had been captured by Indians.
It’s always in the last place you look.
Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone
Plot: Three women make an emergency landing on a planet plagued with a fatal disease, but are captured by dictator Overdog. Adventurer Wolff goes there to rescue them and meets Niki, the only Earthling left from a medical expedition. Combining their talents, they try to rescue the women.
I assume the second “f” in “Wolff” is silent.
The Being
Plot: A mutated creature is wreaking havoc in a small town in Idaho. A police chief and a government scientist team up to save their rural town from its menace.
If you say “wreaking havoc” out loud enough times it stops sounding like words.
Frogs
Plot: A group of helpless victims celebrate a birthday on an island estate crawling with killer amphibians, birds, insects, and reptiles.
Well that’s just poor party planning.
Got it? Now select the movie below. It’s kind of like choose your own adventure, except “your own adventure” is actually “our horrible suffering.”
Polling for the next bad movie has ended.
Maybe move a little faster next time, Captain Slowpoke.